When I think about starting over, I often think that something else has to have come to an end. In this case, I am merely just changing the way I look at life which, in a sense, is starting over.
Over the course of a lifetime, we establish habits based on a number of different things: parental opinion, environmental changes, peer pressure, life lessons, etc. Sometimes, those habits are good ones. They help us to make better choices, become wiser people and therefore, better people. On the other hand, we sometimes acquire bad habits. These habits can be better known as addictions.
I have an admission. I am an addict. That's the first step, right? Admission? Well, I'm taking that step. I know what you're thinking: What could this chick be addicted to? And to those of you who know me, pick your heart up off the floor and close your mouth! :)
My addiction is not to drugs or alcohol. I'm not addicted to sex or money. My addiction is a negative mindset. What does this mean? As a defense mechanism, I have created a barrier that makes me think the worst before thinking of the better. I have, in the past, justified this behavior by saying that I was a realist (pessimist was too "negative" for me...go figure). So instead of me just admitting that I tended toward being negative, I would say that I am just "being real". But what is real?
I could go to Webster's or some dictionary to find a definition for "real" but, what would be the point? That's not what this is about anyway because what is "real" depends on the perspective of the person. My "real" might not be the same as your "real" and neither one of us has the same "real" as God. And that, He, is the point.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) If God has good thoughts for me, what kind of thoughts should I have toward myself? I felt extremely convicted after pondering over this scripture. God's thoughts, as sovereign as they are, are good ones, peaceful ones. If my goal is to be more like Him, my thoughts toward myself should be the same.
So, where did all the negative thoughts come from? That's simple: From the Devil, other people, and, because of disappointment, from myself.
The next 40 days, I am taking a journey. I have a goal in mind: to be more positive minded. How will that happen? Who is going to help me? I don't have the answer to these or the plethora of other questions but, what I do know, is that I WILL get there.